Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Social angsiety (spelling)
I have it is the point
No matter the history I stick to the same people
I feel comfort in the know no matter the good or bad
I hold attachment to those I know becuase I know what to expect
New goal well not really new but now that I feel I have a better understanding or the root of me problem I shall reinstate the goal to meet more people and let go a little
Honestly I feel I have already begun this process unconsciencetly
Through my attachment to fort yes a band made up of people I have known since moving to boston but through them I have built a bridge to cross over to others I do not know
I don't mean to say I'm going to transform into this grand outgoing person but maybe put down these walls a little more and not go so crazy (feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack) when I speak to someone new
In my deffence this thought came about with a very different sort of phone call the kind that could make anyone a little crazy a phone call from one whom you spoke your what seems like life story to in about a nonstop 3 hour period and after felt extremly light on your feet the kind of person u felt strangly liberated around the problem? The lack of sobriety invovled
I know I've been here before
But can my miss spelled anxiety handle it again right now
No matter the history I stick to the same people
I feel comfort in the know no matter the good or bad
I hold attachment to those I know becuase I know what to expect
New goal well not really new but now that I feel I have a better understanding or the root of me problem I shall reinstate the goal to meet more people and let go a little
Honestly I feel I have already begun this process unconsciencetly
Through my attachment to fort yes a band made up of people I have known since moving to boston but through them I have built a bridge to cross over to others I do not know
I don't mean to say I'm going to transform into this grand outgoing person but maybe put down these walls a little more and not go so crazy (feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack) when I speak to someone new
In my deffence this thought came about with a very different sort of phone call the kind that could make anyone a little crazy a phone call from one whom you spoke your what seems like life story to in about a nonstop 3 hour period and after felt extremly light on your feet the kind of person u felt strangly liberated around the problem? The lack of sobriety invovled
I know I've been here before
But can my miss spelled anxiety handle it again right now
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Art
Art at this moment is philosophy we art simply just breaking up thew smallest pieces on out lives and bring them back together
That is the truth to understnading all things
We just need to break all things apart to its smallest pieces to understand why things accure
The philosophers of are time and past did just. That they would break apart what we already know into ehat seems to be more complicated terms but in essence they were making it simpler put it into building blocks to what we already know
I'm not positive this can make sense to anyone else but I but here it is on the internet
I'm still praying for
Obama
That is the truth to understnading all things
We just need to break all things apart to its smallest pieces to understand why things accure
The philosophers of are time and past did just. That they would break apart what we already know into ehat seems to be more complicated terms but in essence they were making it simpler put it into building blocks to what we already know
I'm not positive this can make sense to anyone else but I but here it is on the internet
I'm still praying for
Obama
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
9/4/08_4:57 leaving ny
I sat in the car driven by meir watching this beautiful city go by. For the past day going through the motions I had gone through so many other times one question kept going through my mind. "What had happened to me this summer to make me feel this way?"
Content_ things have been going as planned; still w/a few glitches that I need to work out but nothing to harsh. When I realized I have to be careful not to trip. My fear is tripping and then not getting myself back up. I say I work best under stress. And as my schedule reflects, I should be stressed only here lies the problem. I'm not. Things are good. I'm lost in a cheesy romance novel which sits next to my bed. I have amazing classes w/very intelligent people and amazing apartment w/amazing people.
So here comes the planning how do I not fall. Keep the order. I haven't been looking back I'm truly taking it day by day
What threw me into this feeling was an action I took on today which I feel like I hadn't done in years unless asked.
We walked to the "high bridge water tower" instantly I knew MUST take photos. The quality of the photographs is still questionable. But the passion was still there. We walked down the tower on to the street and the urge did not reside.
Content_ things have been going as planned; still w/a few glitches that I need to work out but nothing to harsh. When I realized I have to be careful not to trip. My fear is tripping and then not getting myself back up. I say I work best under stress. And as my schedule reflects, I should be stressed only here lies the problem. I'm not. Things are good. I'm lost in a cheesy romance novel which sits next to my bed. I have amazing classes w/very intelligent people and amazing apartment w/amazing people.
So here comes the planning how do I not fall. Keep the order. I haven't been looking back I'm truly taking it day by day
What threw me into this feeling was an action I took on today which I feel like I hadn't done in years unless asked.
We walked to the "high bridge water tower" instantly I knew MUST take photos. The quality of the photographs is still questionable. But the passion was still there. We walked down the tower on to the street and the urge did not reside.
Just some I wrote earlier this month. Some stays the same other things have chenged. But regardless that was a good moment I still remember the questioning silent smile on my face. And the cheesy romance novel no long lies next to my bed
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
8:53 pm
the time rings in my head. the time of the place decided was home two years ago now.
i feel as though this were my first time entering Boston. only to know i recognize it like the back my hand. it holds the building which put together my newest goal, path, dream. why am i so scared though. why is this year so much more daunting then the others. im walking alone again, as i stride through life dropping everyone i once knew. i hope over and over again im making the right decisions. some of the most selfish decisions ive ever made. in order to make sure the future is as desirable as i for see it to be.
everything looks like fragile thin ice i prance upon like a lion on the hunt. i pray that i can set everything in place before venturing on to the next stage which is approaching faster and faster into reality.
i see a bright light in front of me but i also know according to my maps and research there are multiple forks in the road only theres a warning on the crease of the map telling me those who travel here will only know the forks once you get to them. no warnings will be marked.
i will take on trip with grace and sharp eyes
i feel as though this were my first time entering Boston. only to know i recognize it like the back my hand. it holds the building which put together my newest goal, path, dream. why am i so scared though. why is this year so much more daunting then the others. im walking alone again, as i stride through life dropping everyone i once knew. i hope over and over again im making the right decisions. some of the most selfish decisions ive ever made. in order to make sure the future is as desirable as i for see it to be.
everything looks like fragile thin ice i prance upon like a lion on the hunt. i pray that i can set everything in place before venturing on to the next stage which is approaching faster and faster into reality.
i see a bright light in front of me but i also know according to my maps and research there are multiple forks in the road only theres a warning on the crease of the map telling me those who travel here will only know the forks once you get to them. no warnings will be marked.
i will take on trip with grace and sharp eyes
Friday, August 29, 2008
A sunken heart
For now my heart is still east bound
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
A goodbye to the rd
The poloroids have stopped the phone photos seemed to have died down and the curiosity of what it may be like to be home again is overwhelming
Please excuse the lack of documentation
We are currently in texas its desertish
Making our way to arizona to me tonya's rents
There maybe some tennis involved
And then a final leg tomorrow into LA
I miss whats behind me
I miss talking to you like crazy but excited to figure out the time difference from the west I think I've got the east down!!
I hid out for awhile this summer but I'm ready to be back now
Things are going to change this yearget ready!!
Please excuse the lack of documentation
We are currently in texas its desertish
Making our way to arizona to me tonya's rents
There maybe some tennis involved
And then a final leg tomorrow into LA
I miss whats behind me
I miss talking to you like crazy but excited to figure out the time difference from the west I think I've got the east down!!
I hid out for awhile this summer but I'm ready to be back now
Things are going to change this yearget ready!!
A goodbye to the rd
The poloroids have stopped the phone photos seemed to have died down and the curiosity of what it may be like to be home again is overwhelming
Please excuse the lack of documentation
We are currently in texas its desertish
Making our way to arizona to me tonya's rents
There maybe some tennis involved
And then a final leg tomorrow into LA
I miss whats behind me
I miss talking to you like crazy but excited to figure out the time difference from the west I think I've got the east down!!
I hid out for awhile this summer but I'm ready to be back now
Things are going to change this yearget ready!!
Please excuse the lack of documentation
We are currently in texas its desertish
Making our way to arizona to me tonya's rents
There maybe some tennis involved
And then a final leg tomorrow into LA
I miss whats behind me
I miss talking to you like crazy but excited to figure out the time difference from the west I think I've got the east down!!
I hid out for awhile this summer but I'm ready to be back now
Things are going to change this yearget ready!!
A goodbye to the rd
The poloroids have stopped the phone photos seemed to have died down and the curiosity of what it may be like to be home again is overwhelming
Please excuse the lack of documentation
We are currently in texas its desertish
Making our way to arizona to me tonya's rents
There maybe some tennis involved
And then a final leg tomorrow into LA
I miss whats behind me
I miss talking to you like crazy but excited to figure out the time difference from the west I think I've got the east down!!
I hid out for awhile this summer but I'm ready to be back now
Things are going to change this yearget ready!!
Please excuse the lack of documentation
We are currently in texas its desertish
Making our way to arizona to me tonya's rents
There maybe some tennis involved
And then a final leg tomorrow into LA
I miss whats behind me
I miss talking to you like crazy but excited to figure out the time difference from the west I think I've got the east down!!
I hid out for awhile this summer but I'm ready to be back now
Things are going to change this yearget ready!!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Thoeries on the road
We listen to the radio come across a theme "ayer" and "lollipops"
Lisa believes this is the government is telling us the world is comming to an end
And we are going up and all our food will b in lollipop form
Antonia gives lisa a strange look and lisa says no really the better connected folk such as yourself will be brought up to space while the rest of us perish
Lisa goes on to tell antonia of how she expects a phone call "hey" "so um...I'm buying a space suit" lisa says "oh really is that the newest fashion in LA". antonia "no your gonna die I'm going up"
Lisa believes this is the government is telling us the world is comming to an end
And we are going up and all our food will b in lollipop form
Antonia gives lisa a strange look and lisa says no really the better connected folk such as yourself will be brought up to space while the rest of us perish
Lisa goes on to tell antonia of how she expects a phone call "hey" "so um...I'm buying a space suit" lisa says "oh really is that the newest fashion in LA". antonia "no your gonna die I'm going up"
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Day 3
We have made our way to west virginia now on our way to alabama
In clarksburg WV we founf ourself in a small craft store and asked where to find a good brunch before we head back on the rd
Two lovely ladies sent us in the direction of some hogies
On our way out we spotted a map to look at and grab a glance at our travels during which another local warnewd us of our route and had little to know faith in our goals of the south not something hadn't heard before
We sit and order our hogies and chat with the waitress only to find one of cliches along the way
A 19year old born and raised with a baby looking to get out
The novelty was charming but other then that I was left with wondering eyes as we made our way back. Through town back to our california licenced car
At 80MPH we watch the country go by once again I wonder am I soaking it all in?
In clarksburg WV we founf ourself in a small craft store and asked where to find a good brunch before we head back on the rd
Two lovely ladies sent us in the direction of some hogies
On our way out we spotted a map to look at and grab a glance at our travels during which another local warnewd us of our route and had little to know faith in our goals of the south not something hadn't heard before
We sit and order our hogies and chat with the waitress only to find one of cliches along the way
A 19year old born and raised with a baby looking to get out
The novelty was charming but other then that I was left with wondering eyes as we made our way back. Through town back to our california licenced car
At 80MPH we watch the country go by once again I wonder am I soaking it all in?
Day 3
We have made our way to west virginia now on our way to alabama
In clarksburg WV we founf ourself in a small craft store and asked where to find a good brunch before we head back on the rd
Two lovely ladies sent us in the direction of some hogies
On our way out we spotted a map to look at and grab a glance at our travels during which another local warnewd us of our route and had little to know faith in our goals of the south not something hadn't heard before
We sit and order our hogies and chat with the waitress only to find one of cliches along the way
A 19year old born and raised with a baby looking to get out
The novelty was charming but other then that I was left with wondering eyes as we made our way back. Through town back to our california licenced car
At 80MPH we watch the country go by once again I wonder am I soaking it all in?
In clarksburg WV we founf ourself in a small craft store and asked where to find a good brunch before we head back on the rd
Two lovely ladies sent us in the direction of some hogies
On our way out we spotted a map to look at and grab a glance at our travels during which another local warnewd us of our route and had little to know faith in our goals of the south not something hadn't heard before
We sit and order our hogies and chat with the waitress only to find one of cliches along the way
A 19year old born and raised with a baby looking to get out
The novelty was charming but other then that I was left with wondering eyes as we made our way back. Through town back to our california licenced car
At 80MPH we watch the country go by once again I wonder am I soaking it all in?
Friday, August 15, 2008
Terri cloth robes!!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Just an hour away
I sit in the same curled up position as I did only two months ago
What else is the same?
Not much I'm afraid
The sense of adventure has been ripped from our mind for now at least the bag under our eyes our heavier then the luggage weighing down our car
I spent some time complaining this summer but as expected I know now I didn't mean most of it
How can I honestly dislike a place that at the end of the day always puts a smile on my face
I don't know that I will be back but I do know there will always be fond memories of asiland
This place has brought to light some of my greatest loves in life and I am forever grateful and hope that I can incorporate this land in my life for years one way or another
What else is the same?
Not much I'm afraid
The sense of adventure has been ripped from our mind for now at least the bag under our eyes our heavier then the luggage weighing down our car
I spent some time complaining this summer but as expected I know now I didn't mean most of it
How can I honestly dislike a place that at the end of the day always puts a smile on my face
I don't know that I will be back but I do know there will always be fond memories of asiland
This place has brought to light some of my greatest loves in life and I am forever grateful and hope that I can incorporate this land in my life for years one way or another
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
depicting the end
theres no order to these images. the second to last day is emotional and the tears can jumble the thoughts and memories.
more to come im sure more thoughts to be relayed.
may the analysis of this summer commence
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